I seem to have this habit of abandoning this site repeatedly. I don’t ever mean to. In fact, I often think about what I’ll write. I jot down countless ideas, and even almost complete articles. Life tosses so many tough situations at you, and one of the toughest for me is having to live alongside the existence of an invisible vacuum-like monster that sucks up every ounce of time I think I have. I’d love to do a huge array of things everyday, but in the end I’m left with almost nothing. No time. All I do is work, get home, and have an hour to myself. It’s exhausting being exhausted. So, this year I decided to make some changes. Unfortunately, this will come at the expense of my sleep perhaps. It’s worth it though. I just know it. I was reminded of something important by one of the rare positive 2016 moments from my life, the night I attended the Zelda Symphony of the Goddess Concert for the 2nd time in December. I felt so moved listening to the same music that rang through my ears as I was being raised by the series. I couldn’t help but get teary eyed. It wasn’t just because I was hearing this beautiful music, watching perfectly synced and terrifically edited footage from key moments in Zelda, and it wasn’t because I felt like I was watching a retrospective of my own life (as some of my favorite life memories consist of playing Zelda). Instead, the music, footage, atmosphere, and people in attendance reminded me of who I was, and what I promised myself I’d do with this oh so temporary life.
I must make games.
I can have a million dreams like I do, but one will always feel wrong trying to tuck away. The concert reminded me that I had a mission, to affect people the same way Ocarina of Time did for me when I was 9 years old. At that moment, I felt like I was stuck in the Lost Woods in Zelda for years, and I found my way back home by following the music. Since December, I’ve committed myself to anything game dev related. I started working on small tutorials, writing a medium scale game, playing new ones finally, showing off my previously made games to coworkers (for some reason they all like the Hot Dog one), started hustling even more at my job to eventually grab a designer spot, and even enrolled myself in a small game development specific school. I’ll do my best to find some time to write two things a week for GIMV, and I hope to keep everyone updated on my reignited game design journey. There’s always hope. I was reminded of this in December.